Lost love
by Sterntalerkind
Summary: Why has it ended like that? Why did Roderich love her? VAsh can't understand at all...


Spectacular. Melodic. Sweet music passing the great windows. Basch stood in front of them, watched the man sitting there and playing the piano, deeply diving in the ocean of music, the great Vulcan of wrath, the free sun lit air of luck. Everything could be found in the melody's flow, seeking its way through and beneath his skin. It was raining, big rain drops falling quicker and quicker from the crying heaven which felt Switzerland's pain watching Roderich smiling at Elizavéta who listened carefully and luckily.

They hit the ground hard, digging wet circles into the dusty ground, into his heart hurting too much so that he wanted to take a knife and cut it out of his chest. If Lilli hadn't been his sister and needed him, he would have already done so, he couldn't bear it any more day for day for day. Every minute in his life was filled with thoughts about Roderich, one of his oldest friends he had always saved whatever had happened before, he couldn't stop thinking about him, he wanted him, but he was happily married to Hungary. He played music for her, fondled her, kissed her, licked her, mad love to her.

Disgusting. She was a beautiful woman, that was right, but Austria would have better been his lover, much better. He knew that Roderich had to marry her on 8th June, 1967 however he totally was jealous because she was able to spend her whole time staying at his side, she could see him whenever she wanted, a Swiss man like himself not. He had to stay at his house working all around the clock and waiting for the day to end – if he had time to do so. His skin already was wet, his clothes had soaked the water like a sponge and made him shiver a little bit though he didn't notice any more, he felt nothing. Heard nothing. Wasn't in the position to say something.

He had lost his might to say anything against the relationship between Hungary and Austria in the moment in which the priest had told them that they're married.

He had stayed silent, swooning as he glanced at God's countenance , watched his powerful figure walking alongside them down the floor till they hear the people cheering outside. A tear drop had left his face, salty, warm, almost not noticed, followed by others without a sound made.

"Großer Bruder?" His sister had asked seeing his tears flowing down his face and touching his suit, she had been the only one caring about him, he didn't even know if Hungary or even Austria had been aware that he had been there. He felt a whole life which had been destroyed at once, it had busted into sheds cutting his soul till just bleeding pieces had been left and the torture still didn't stop.

"They make such a cute couple, don't they? They suit each other perfectly, he is white-bread, she adores him... Wonderful, they won't molest me any more", Prussia had told him watching them disappear and drawn on his right shoulder, he smirked. Basch could have punched him into his dirty kisser. The music reminded him of so many passed things that he wanted to cry, to let every emotion which smote him break out and to be deterged - freed from the heavy weight of his heart by tears.

Why had he fought all the time? Why had he wanted to be neutral? Why had he always taken a chance to be near him? Why had he always done everything in order to help?

He didn't know, every kind of knowledge had disappeared looking at the man he loved, reminiscing about his past, about the one fatal day. As he returned to the present the brown-haired behind the window had vanished, just his piano left just like Elizavéta who smiled sadly looking at the key board which was not pressed any more. It seemed like the music still faded away, that a new note could be heard in every moment they stayed in their position. A tear drop left her small chin. He had left her.

Switzerland didn't had to get to know what it meant, he just was aware of what had happened before. It had been his farewell kiss. Still thinking about what had occurred before he wandered around the house, wet, without opening an umbrella. Basch lacked it. He lacked Roderich with all his heart. No matter. What. It. Took. He was in need... need...

"Basch?" His voice. "Basch... what are you doing here? Why don't you open your umbrella, you're such a Dummkopf, honestly." He took the umbrella and unbolted it without hesitating a little second and hold it above Basch's head. It felt strange not to feel his friend on his skin, it was rummily cold.

"What do you want from me, Austria?", he asked in his normal pert voice and looked away though he regretted it afterwards because Roderich made a noise like "Pff" and turned around in order to leave him. "Okay, okay, what is it...? You wanted to talk to me, right?", the Swiss man continued speaking and glanced straight into the other's violet eyes which replied it surprised.

Some minutes ran away while they stood their in the rain, not trying to talk just to observing each other, nobody moved, they sank in muddy ground like in sand.

"I wanted to give this letter to you, I think you should know before I'll go to war against Russia and France, I hope you are not mad at me, but I couldn't tell you earlier."

"What is it about?", Basch asked automatically and took the letter Roderich had pulled out of his uniform, elegant like it had always been.

"Read it. It'll explain everything to you what you have to know about you and me, I promise."

Suddenly he kissed him and walked away, not losing a single word till he vanished within the foggy ground caused by the rain as Switzerland opened the writ shaking.

_My dearest Basch,_

_my good friend, I will not talk to you for such a long time, so I have to confess some things to you, I also do not know if I will return one day. I am totally nervous writing this letter to you, I should not however I cannot avoid it, it is a great emotion I will admit._

_I love you._

_I love you more than my own life, more than I had ever loved anyone, than I ever loved Elizavéta, my dear wife. I always wanted to say this to you, but I had never been brave enough to do so, I had never been able to tell you because our chiefs always had other plans for us countries and I am really sorry that I have to confess this like this. I might be too faint-hearted in order to confess this looking straight in your face though it totally is ridiculous like you would comment on it._

_I adore you._

_It is just that nobody would accept our relationship, they would try to prevent it so that we would never be able to hold each other's hands, to kiss our lips, to touch each other like lovers do, to feel the heat and passion. Please, do understand what I mean, I will not stop feeling this way and one day we will have the possibility to love._

_I love you,_

_yours Roderich_

Basch hated him for doing so. He did. He couldn't explain why however he was just willing to persuade the other one of their relationship, he would.


End file.
